it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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