god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
from now on my penis is your penis
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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