im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
