Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
