....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
