ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Houston, we have a squirter
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
