we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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