Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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