goodnight i made you a song goodbye
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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