I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
