DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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