I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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