Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
