sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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