maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
