So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
