i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
