Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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