Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
