I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
His nipple licking is glorious
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