I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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