There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Randomize
