i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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