We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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