I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
whose ass print is on the piano?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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