There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
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