Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize