there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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