You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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