we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
