i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
