Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
They have beer where we have blood.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
All I want is dick and wine.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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