His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
