worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
