just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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