My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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