You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
