the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize