4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
