proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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