Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
