Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
