i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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