I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
