Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
