if you like me you must not know who I am
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
