I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You dont lie about slip and slides
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
