Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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