Having a random hookup so left but love u
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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