.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
This house was built for laser tag.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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