After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
