chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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