It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
4 words: hood of his car
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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