My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
MIDGETS
????
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
