i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
