are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
